Lies To Tell About Your Subwoofer

Subwoofers are not the most popular piece of home theater equipment to non-enthusiasts. They are usually large, black boxes that take up way too much space in your room. All for what? Bass? Who cares? People who care about accurate sound, that’s who! Want that cinematic experience at home? A subwoofer is a must. You may have no problems getting your significant other or family on board with the subwoofer, but what do you tell your friends and visitors about that big, black box in the corner of your room? Here are some lies to tell about your subwoofer!

It’s an Air Purifier

I’ve been in tons of houses where home theater speakers are not allowed. “Too ugly,” is the verdict. And yet you’ll have to walk around air purifiers in every space just sitting in the center of the space. If people want to judge you for your subwoofer, just tell them it is an air purifier. They’ll probably ask you where you got it so they can get one too.

End Table in Progress

That big black box that produces all the bass isn’t a subwoofer, it is an end table in progress. Don’t think of this one so much as a lie you tell about your subwoofer, but a misrepresentation. There is no reason you can’t use your subwoofer as an end table.

It’s a Cover for Something Else

If your subwoofer is in a corner, just tell people that it is a cover for something else. Water softener system, pest control trap (maybe not that one), home security system…get creative. If people are going to get judgemental about your subwoofer, why not tell them some outrageous lie about it?

Sinkhole?

Maybe there is a sinkhole under that big black box and you don’t want anyone to fall in? You’re just covering it for now while the city decides how to address the hole.

Official Blackstone from Minecraft Replica

Are you a gamer? Can you pretend to be one in order to tell a lie about your subwoofer? That’s not a subwoofer (or two or three), that’s a Blackstone replica. From Minecraft! You got it at an auction or something. It’s officially signed and everything except the signature is on the bottom and the replica is very heavy. Trust me bro!

Counterweight

Your house foundation is on a small bump. The subwoofer isn’t a subwoofer, it is a counterweight to keep the house level. If you move it, stuff starts sliding off the kitchen counters.

It’s a Black Box

You know those black boxes they have in airplanes? It’s one of those. For your house. You got it on a Kickstarter or something. It’s full of important documents and stuff. That’s why it is so heavy.

Got any good lies you tell about your subwoofer? Let us know below!